Embracing Fear

Last week I released my first novel, Returning To Friendship, and since then, I have been bombarded with conflicting emotions. While I am crazy excited, I am also terrified.

Publishing a work of fiction is totally out of my realm of comfort. Now that the novel is out there, I have little to no control. Agghh! A lack of control makes me break out in hives and want to curl up in the fetal position. I had the same feeling when I sent my children to kindergarten for the first time. It was the worst (for me, they were perfectly fine), but I recalibrated and kept on moving. There’s no other choice, is there? We can move forward, or we can stay frozen, never experiencing anything new or different and never learning or growing.

As for most of us, when faced with a life-changing event, this process has also put into question my sense of identity. Suddenly, I need to shift my thought process and kick to the curb the imposter syndrome that tries to sneak, poke, and prod its way in. Getting married, starting a new job, becoming a parent, and losing a parent were also life events that forced me to reevaluate who I was. In doing so, I discovered a strength or a passion or a love I didn’t know existed.